Wednesday, December 26, 2007
I have been meaning to start a journal for the baby. Sure, he/she'll be able to one day read this blog, but I wanted to have something that was just for her/him. I started it at work today. Gimme a break, it's the day after Christmas. There is nothing going on here. I am using this beautiful leather bound journal that I had gotten in Florence way back when I did my study abroad program. For some reason I had never used it, but I guess saving it was a good decision.
I started it by writing a little bit about my history with John, how we met, engagement, marriage, etc. Then I started talking about trying to get pregnant and the Doctor's appointments and all of that. My first entry was pretty long. I will write more later, but I think I got a good start.
It wasn't until a couple of minutes ago, about an hour after I put the journal away, that it really started to hit me. Reality hasn't quite settled in yet because I can't feel any movement yet, but the fact that I am basically writing a letter to my child who will be reading it when they grow up is an odd feeling. It gives me a lot of excitement but also produces a lot of fears. I worry about being a good mom and having no idea what I am doing. I don't have much experience with babies, John is much more advanced in that arena than I am. I worry that I won't be close with my kids, or that I will be totally overprotective (even though I am telling myself that I am not going to be one of those moms that doesn't let their child do anything). I'm sure that all first time moms have these doubts and fears but it kind of freaks me out. And it hit me all of a sudden: I am going to have a kid that is going to be totally dependent on John and I. It's an awesome responsibility and I sometimes have those doubts as to whether I am up for it. Honestly, I really don't see myself as a mature 28 year old. Let's face it, I don't always act grown up so it's hard for me to see myself as a grown up. But then I look at my friends who have kids, like Sara, Amber, and Jason & Noel, and to see what amazing parents they are really makes me see that I can do it and that I have this incredible support system of family and friends behind me that will always be there to help should we need it. But most of all I have John who has been nothing but wonderful through these first 4 months. I'm sure I haven't been the easiest to live with but he has been really patient and has picked up a lot of the slack. And I don't think that he has once complained about cleaning out the litter box.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
We had a request for some belly pictures. These were taken today, at exactly 16 weeks. I am really not showing that much, but below are a couple shots. The one of my full body I am going to apologize for because John didn't tell me if I was in the picture or when he was taking it so I am looking off somewhere else. Also, I know my outfit doesn't match. I had just changed my pants after eating dinner and I just wanted to be comfortable.
I'm also noticing that you can see where the band of the pants I was wearing before cut in to my stomach. Nice.
Anyway, we had a Dr.'s appointment today. It was very quick. He just answered some questions that I had. My main question was on skin care. I don't think I've mentioned it before but my skin is TERRIBLE. It's never been perfect but since I got pregnant it has gone from semi-bad to the worst it's been in a long time. And of course there are conflicting reports on what should or should not be used as far as acne treatments are concerned during pregnancy. So I asked my Doc and he said that as long as it doesn't have Retin-A in it then it should be fine. I'm like a junkie now. I need my fix. I've gone 4 months without any sort of treatment and now I can use it. You bet your butt I'm going to. I can't wait to get to the store (I threw most stuff away at the beginning thinking I couldn't use it, but I do have one little tube of spot treatment stuff).
Then we got to hear the heartbeat again which eased all my anxieties. I have felt so good that I almost didn't feel pregnant, but that quick beat that you hear on the doppler makes everything better. The kid is all over the place in the heartbeat range. Apparently there is an old wives' tale that says the higher the heart rate then the baby is a boy, or vice versa, I don't really know. Well this kid must want to keep us guessing because the first time we heard the heartbeat (11 weeks) it was 168 bpm, during the ultrasound (13 weeks) it was 143 bpm, and then today it was 153 bpm. I don't know what to expect at our next ultrasound which, by the way, is January 15. We will be able to find out the sex of the baby that day, assuming the little one cooperates.
John got his Christmas gift from the Coyotes today. It is a bottle of wine from the Wayne Gretzky Estates and it is personally signed my Wayne Gretzky. It is very cool. We are not going to drink it. Even if I could drink right now, we wouldn't. It's a really neat thing for him to do. We had John's holiday party on the 10th. It was at the arena and they let everyone go down and skate on the rink before dinner. Unfortunately I wasn't able to do that, but definitely next year. Here are some pics of John and I.
With the rink in the background. We were going to use one of these as our Christmas picture but decided that you couldn't see the rink very well, so we didn't. Maybe next year we'll get a better shot. And, yes, that is maternity clothing that I am wearing.
Monday, December 10, 2007
John and I have chosen a painter for our rooms. It looks like they will be coming the second week of January and we will be all done! Of course I do have to pick the colors now which could be the hardest part of the entire process. They are even going to fix our amateur paint job in the living room and kitchen which is the best part of the whole deal because it really does look like crap. We also bought the first room worth of laminate flooring. John has already moved everything out of the man room (which was a chore because of all his dolls - oops, I mean bobbleheads) and pulled up all the carpet and padding. I think he is going to start installing the floor sometime this week. I am very excited about it. We are really on our way. After all the flooring is done we'll only have to worry about getting the backyard finished. All that will really entail is having someone come out and spread rock. That is not high on our priority list right now though so I'm not even thinking too much about it.
John's company holiday party is tonight at the arena. They are going to let everyone skate on the rink before dinner but unfortunately I won't get to and I'm disappointed about. Maybe next year. We're going to have someone take our picture for our Christmas card tonight so I'm hoping to get that stuff all printed and mailed by this weekend. Ideally, that's the way it will work. In reality, who knows.
Our next appointment is December 20 and that is just a basic check-up so I don't know that there will be much to report there. I'll try to put something up though.